forever

why must it take so long to paint the simplest of things?

the life of a painting

over the past few days, i have been simultaneously working on 7 different projects... which includes prepwork, sculpting, and painting. i'm attempting to finish quite a bit of work in a short time, for the lovely christmas holiday.  it is stressful, yet i'm feeling the excitement and empowerment of working on so many things. it makes me feel like i'm really accomplishing things, like i don't have a second to spare (which i don't, really). gesso these boards while waiting for the clay to dry, paint these canvases while waiting for the spray paint to dry. mmmm stress. my favorite (when it comes to art.) i work best under stress. when will people learn to give me deadlines? (hint hint)

i was thinking about how amazing it would be to live the life of a painting. don't ask me where this is coming from. but particularly the commissioned paintings i'm working on. if you could see life through these paintings' eyes, you would see everything.  the artist's process, from beginning to end. the conversations that go on while the piece is being worked on or even just lying around.  the sounds, music, movie, or tv shows that are being watched during it's creation (and let me tell you, i watch a lot of weird and horrible movies, not to mention i also laugh really hard almost unnaturally at times. right now i'm addicted to the tv series "coupling" so if you receive any artwork i've created for this christmas, please imagine a bunch of cute little british voices and hilarious, stupid humor while gazing at the piece. ) the frustration of the artist where it feels like the painting will be a huge failure, where the artist contemplates whether they will be even be able to pull this off... followed by the acceptance and relief of the artist during the final stages when the painting finally comes together. the reaction of the person purchasing the artwork.  and what the painting will see, but the artist never: the reaction of the person receiving the artwork from the buyer. followed by the real reaction of that person once the buyer is gone. and then who knows what that painting will see once it's real life begins! either a sad junk-filled closet, or a lively living room, or a sexytime bedroom.  i want to live a life of a painting.

it's late, i'm really tired and delirious, i have no idea what i'm talking about.  thanks to everyone who came out to my show tonight ! i very much appreciate it.  more on that next week.

anonymous friend

my blog yet again won't let me post pictures, so i'm finishing this post i started some time ago.

i was recently publicly bashed on an art blog that i belong to. the blog is a place for artists to share their work and give/receive feedback. i always post my pieces for the themed shows that i participate in, as do all the other artists in each of those same shows. someone left an anonymous comment on my last post, fully bringing down my work and my style. in so many words, they went on about how in each themed show, my style kills my concepts; my figures are a horrible attempt to develop a style; and basically flat out said i can't draw with their quote "a wise man once told me you have to know how to draw before you can choose to disregard anatomy to obtain style."  i'm not sure where to even begin on this.

first of all, if you're ballsy enough to tell an artist that they have no talent, at least have the courage to write your name. if my work bothers you that much to the point that you feel the need to tell me directly, tell me your name. don't be a coward.

second, i'm all about bashing artwork.  i (can be) one of the snobbiest people when it comes to criticizing art, and a lot of the time i don't even have a reason to dislike. all that is, is a matter of opinion. i have my own preferences and tastes, just like everyone else does.  an artist can create something beautifully executed, and i just don't like it; whereas an artist could show me work with a poor outcome, yet i'll still be able to at the least appreciate it, depending on the artist/situation. in all of my art bashing over the years, it has always been a matter of like or dislike. everyone has torn apart someone's artwork before, whether admitting or not, but in private. and i'm the first to understand that. it is okay to dislike someone's art, and it's okay for this anonymous friend to dislike mine..if he had done so in private. unless....

third, there is a very distinct difference between criticism and constructive criticism. in the midst of all my art hating rants and bashing, i have never been malicious or cruel; in that i would never criticize a hardworking artist to their face and tell them what they are doing is horrible. unless it was followed by something constructive. i'm all about constructive criticism for artwork because that is what makes an artist truly learn and grow. it's surprisingly tough to progress as an artist without that element. but this anonymous person gave no form of constructive criticism whatsoever. i would have appreciated my anonymous friend's comment, if only they had wanted to be helpful. instead, i appreciate if in the future, they keep their comments to themselves. there was no reason for mr anonymous to attack my work like that without including even a single suggestion on how to make it better. 

overall i just found the comment rude and was a little taken back by it. i'd love any feedback on  my work,  both positive or negative, but you, my anonymous friend, need to learn some manners.

alumni / tattoo

greetings. blogger hates me and has refused to let me post photos since last week. i was bedridden all of  last week while i was sick desperately trying to get well in time for a very important and long awaited weekend of tattoos and comic con, so i didn't feel like dealing with it. i'm better now, and i still can't figure it out. i'm going to destroy something.

october 1 was the reception for tcnj's art alumni show. i dropped by, chatted with some fellow alumni and professors. i of course lived up to my awkward reputation during these conversations, as well as for two interviews, that i didn't want to do, for wtsr (the college radio station) and the signal (the college magazine or newspaper?) i need to learn some basic normal "talking" skills. some day. the best part was someone telling me that people even wanted to take their picture with my sculpture....followed by a little girl (who i assume is the "people" mentioned) wanting her picture taken with me and my piece. pretty adorable, but even more adorable was the little boy who asked me which piece was mine. after i told him, he ran to it, and ran back with a white sheet of people and asked for my autograph. i officially became famous when i signed my name... under the list of the other artists' signatures. i hope he frames it and keeps it forever. close to his heart.

october 8 was my much anticipated tattoo appointment.  i was worried all week that i wouldn't be well enough to go, considering i couldn't even sit up without getting dizzy, losing my breath, and panting like a little puppy. luckily i got better in time. i was a champ, and i even went all by myself like a big girl. 2.5-3 hours later, i'm officially a rockstar! it is basically from my shoulder to my elbow and the lines and shading came out pretty much exactly how i had hoped. it's beautiful. i was pretty sure my parents were going to disown me, but you'll be happy to know they didn't. although they aren't happy with me at all, my dad did admit (by whispering to my mom only) that it looks cool, so now i get to hold that over his head for the rest of my life. the following day i went to new york comic con, where i got tons of compliments in a short time. that obviously just verifies that it's the greatest tattoo of all time.. granted there were thousands and thousands of people.. but that's completely besides the point.. i loves it. on another note, there were tons of awesome artists set up at comic con, and i plan on sharing a few great ones here.

i'll post pictures of exhibits, tattoo, artists, and artwork, if i can ever figure out these crazy internet shenanigans. if not, i guess i'll just write more like today's, a bunch of crap no one cares about like a little high school online diary...except all art/disability-related, which is what i know we all want to be reading about these days.

art snob

the movie art school confidential really makes me miss school and art folks. this movie is really (not so much) an exaggeration of what art school (at tcnj, for me) is like (though i feel like being in a more artsy school would have been even worse.) i miss the uncontrollable anger i felt as i'd mock the many "artists" who never failed to impress the professors with their conceptual art garbage. i admit i am what some might refer to as an "art snob." i appreciate and respect artwork that shows obvious hard work and passion, artwork requires and shows actual talent.  i do not however like (in fact, i despise) someone who plugs in a light bulb and calls it art. or fills gigantic rooms full of all-white paintings (literally) and call it's process art. or someone who paints a car that looks like a paint by number done by a five year old (as seen in art school confidential) and call it art.  or when someone spend painfully long hours creating something to be proud of and get the same credit as someone who scribbles for 10 seconds (and gets praised for it.)  and even more, i hate women who sit in the middle of an art museum and stare at someone for hours, get paid way too much money and call it art. i can't handle the fact that so much artwork out there is a success solely based on the artist's ability to bullshit their way to fame. or the fact that there are people who love and admire them for their bull. if these people feel the need to express themselves through these methods that i will never, ever understand, that's fine. i just wish it could in a separate category than "art." i'm desperately trying (really, really hard) not to go too far into my anti-art rant that i've rambled on about so many times before, so go watch art school confidential and you'll understand what brought on my rant, unless you're one of them who give me this undying headache. i just watch it and laugh at how ridiculous it is, until i realize it's really not that far off from the reality i surprisingly miss so much from my four years in college..

this is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to my snobbiness.. but i'm okay with that because i'm sure there are plenty of people who dislike or hate my work.  at least i'm doing it for the right reasons. i know this for a fact because i'm poor and i'm not doing much about it, except painting... all so i can keep on painting :)

ghostbusters

right now i am watching ghostbusters and taking screen shots of the scenes i want to recreate for the 3G show in LA.  the 3G show is a show by the autumn society at gallery 1988 in september.  ungodly excited for this show, where each artist has a piece for each of the great 80's movies ghostbusters, goonies, and gremlins.  3 classic favorites of mine (and i assume everyone else alive)

sometimes i feel like i'm in physical pain when i have to choose between so many different amazing ideas. i want to do them all. i'm considering a montage of different scenes, but sometimes less is more, and in this case, i think i need to focus on only one.  it's actual torture to accept that i will probably only be making a single scene.... i have 10 screen shots and i'm only a half hour in the movie..

it's killing me.  and as sad as it is, i'm 24, have seen ghostbusters a hundred times, and i'm still sitting here creeped out by myself creeped out by the beginning

artsy fartsy room

i got a new cell phone that's way more complicated than i like, and i think i hate it (i hate technology). but there is a camera feature where it can take panoramic photos by mending them together. so i thought it would be kind of cool to show where all the magic happens. my poor excuse for a "studio." you'll get a bigger view by clicking each photo.  come back tomorrow to find out about art all night, happening this weekend saturday 3pm- sunday 3pm !

distractions

i got yelled at last night for having so many unfinished projects. i never noticed before, but apparently i start things, either get bored or distracted, and forget about them and start new things. so right now i have 18 unfinished pieces.

and i got a friendly visitor in my studio today! (i made that sound way cooler and more professional than it actually is..)

adorable

beautiful day!

right now i'm outside on my back porch drawing. it is fantastic and i hope this weather keeps up so i can get out of my neverending-art-making-dungeon-studio more and get some fresh air and go a little less insane every day.

it's significantly more peaceful to draw outside, especially now in this weather, where it's breezy and sunny, and especially at this time of year, with empty trees, an empty yard, and an empty pool. i keep smelling the faint scent of flowers but i don't see any. it's too bad i live on a busy road and there are non stop obnoxious cars driving by. i don't care who you are, go outside and make art!

difficult tasks

two things that are very hard to do:

1. paint while eating ice cream simultaneously. i put my paintbrushes in my mouth.. a lot.. i keep getting confused with my spoon and brushes..

2. having a cup of drinking water while painting. i confused it with my dirty painty water.