Thursday, July 21, 2011

broken legs

(very old sketch, but post-appropriate!)

everyone wants to tell their dreams, especially after a good one. but we all know they almost never make any bit of sense and are horribly uninteresting to listen to unless it's your own.  so i apologize in advance, though i'm keeping out the details since it absolutely will not enhance the story in any way. and yes, i can walk in my dreams. sometimes i start off sitting in a wheelchair, but for no reason and always with the option of getting up and walking away.

last night i had a dream that somehow started with me in some sort of hot-air-balloon-like-contraction which failed and crashed into a pool. the other person was nearly dead after we landed, so that should tell you how "serious" the crash was.  (i don't know if they died, my dream trailed off. just incase you were concerned.)

i ended up having severe leg injuries, and the amount of pain in my legs was unbearable. it was one of those dreams that feel more intense than any reality.  i stupidly continued to wear skinny jeans, of the skinniest kind, and would pull up a pant leg to show off the massive open wounds covering my broken legs. believe me when i say the pain was indescribable.  i woke up briefly throughout the dream to realize i had real-life pains in my legs that were influencing my dream. i'm paralyzed, but i get horrible pains in my legs at times. pins and needles, on fire, numbing, aching pains that never go away.. though most of the time it is just a dull sensation that doesn't "hurt," and i'm able to ignore it. i think i can say the past year or two the pain as decreased significantly, which could either be due to a higher tolerance of pain... or the pain just magically lessened for no reason at all. last night was the first time in a while that it really disturbed my sleep.

i just find it fascinating that this "pain" i experience, pain that i'm technically not even supposed to feel, has that much of an effect on me that it flows into and fully takes over my dreams.

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