Wednesday, March 16, 2011


on a way too frequent basis, i smash my knees into a table, or i run over my pinky toe, or get kicked in the legs, all accidentally of course, but my reaction is always "ouch!"

the discomfort of everyone around me who knows i can't feel pain is such a joy. i guess my brain knows it's supposed to hurt, so that's the automatic reaction. it's a reaction i don't think about or do on purpose...most of the time. my favorite is tricking people into thinking i'm legitimately in pain. i love it when they immediately know lying and that i'm just trying to make them feel awkward.  even better is when they won't realize at that moment that i'm a liar, sometimes it takes a bit to sink in and they'll later on think "wait.. what?"

one of my favorite amusements in life is making people feel awkward about my disability. i've gotten angry reactions to my "jokes" (which is even more satisfying), but i can't stand the fact that people are genuinely uncomfortable around me to the point where they feel they need to tip toe around certain phrases (basically any common phrases that we all use with the words walk, stand, run, etc.), and even worse are the people who can't even look me in the eye, or anywhere at all.  i can't tell you how many conversations i haven't had with people because during these "conversations," they keep their heads high with their eyes locked on my standing friends/family, and maybe glance at me once, maybe. i may have an awkward personality, but i'm just sitting in a chair. with wheels. time to get over it, people.
whether or not i can see visible awkwardness, i made jokes when i'm not too busy being awkward myself. there's no reason anyone should feel uncomfortable, so i try to show that i'm not sensitive about it. i have legs that don't work and a big, annoying, but pretty purple chair. is that really so bad? my favorite people in the world are the ones who mock me and make constant handicap jokes.

my sincerest apologies to anyone i've ever made feel uncomfortable with my jokes or comments.

(i'm not really sorry. it's funny. )

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