the shy hallway

3-dimensional layered acrylic paintings

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final piece! mario painting on glass, raised about an inch from the background

this is my last for the autumn society's Video Game Gore show at brave new worlds comics on october 1! the shining is not just a creepy old movie, i still think of it as one of the legitimately scariest movies of all time. it's horrying. it's amazing. i had several ideas for this scene, but it all came down to keeping it to the movie and keeping it simple.

who wouldn't want to see a shy guys wearing cute little matching blue dresses?

check out the VIDEO GAME GORE show at brave new worlds, starts tomorrow for october!! there will be tons of amazing work as usual

luigi myers

3-dimensional layered acrylic painting

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final piece! 8"x10" with princess daisy painted on glass, raised about an inch above the background

my second piece for the autumn society's Video Game Gore show at brave new worlds. the movie halloween is a classic, and michael myers is an relentless monster! maybe luigi had some issues growing up too, i don't know, i'm not a doctor. apparently he just won't die, especially in this creepy scene, one of my favorites where he silently rises upright. but this movie's #1 fright factor is the music. by far. i admit i love rob zombie's remake of halloween (NOT his sequel) but the original halloween just holds that special place in my heart for fear and gore that is unfortunately impossible to create now that we're in the year 2010. 

on another note about the idea and process behind my 3d painting, i think someone, who may or not be tim, is a little upset with me for making them 3d. for the autumn society's 90's show back in june, he made some rocko's modern life paintings, in a similar fashion with plexiglass raised above the canvas. i would just like to share that i have my idea since college, and i've been collecting unneeded glass from all the frames i've used for paintings for years in hopes to one day make layered paintings. however! i most likely would have never (or not as soon) tried it myself if i hadn't seen tim try his version first; i say he just gave me a nudge to do what i always wanted . so way to go tim! you have a lot of great ideas, and i'm sorry if i "stole" it....but you're my boyfriend so i don't care anyway, what's yours is mine :)

peachy clean

3-dimensional layered acrylic painting

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final piece! 8"x10" with princess peach painted on glass raised, about an inch above the shower background

it's the most wonderful time of year!  halloween has officially begun (for me...) i look forward to october all year long and there is nothing that makes me happier. i am a very avid horror movie watcher, and although i watch them year-round (causing nonstop nightmares and irrational fear), october is month for constant horror movies, and even better, horror movie nights and marathons. i watch tons of movies every single day while i draw and paint and a big portion of them are horror, including all those really horrible B-movie (and worse) ones that no one's ever heard of, or ever should hear of. they are my guilty pleasure. most importantly, the SAW movies series, is the greatest horror story ever told.  i'm not a huge fan of the gore; i like the idea of the traps(not seeing them work), but the story itself is phenominal. i have seen the last 5 SAW movies in theaters on halloween day with my boyfriend, a tradition sadly ending with this year's final chapter, but i can't wait to finally find out all the missing links.

the point is, the autumn society's Video Game Gore show at brave new worlds opens friday october 1 ! i stuck with what i know and love and made some more fun 3-D paintings of some of the greatest horror movies of all time.  this one is a tribute to psycho, with some video game characters in place. it's sexy time with princess peach. it may not be gore now, but the psycho shower scene was one of the most shocking scenes at the time. it still creeps me out a bit. two more famous horror movie moments on the way

TCNJ Art Alumni Exhibition: 1EG3D

i mentioned some time ago that i was accepted into tcnj's art alumni show (juror by dan cameron.)  the show has 57 works by

 35 artists, with alumni going back as far as a graduate of '72.  my very first one-eyed girl sculpture was accepted, though some might remember her wretched the pig-hoof hands (slightly seen in these photos), as a result of a deadline that gave little time to perfect her little hands. they were an embarrassment, so i went and redid them, and though they still need a little more work, they look a ton better, just in time for tcnj. 

the show is already open, but the reception is friday, oct 1 at 5:30-8pm, in conjunction with a dedication ceremony for the new building and other homecoming weekend funsies.  the new art building is beautiful and i'm excited to have the opportunity to display in their space. i did have a love/hate relationship with their crappy old building, a building i still feel a little homesick for sometimes. but as much as i loved my time there, i would have killed to work and live in their new art building. if only i were 6 years younger..

check out more info about the exhibition here

here are some updated photos of the 1EG sculpture, with her new hands! 

see you friday!

3G premeire

3G Show Premiere Video from The Autumn Society on Vimeo.

3G video

borrowed post from the autumn society. i apparently still can't figure out how to post videos for the life of me, so visit the post to see!

" Electric Playground just released their feature on our 3G Show with Gallery 1988. The video was hosted by Miri Jedeikin and features a lot of the work from the show. Jensen Karp (Co-owner of Gallery 1988) and (Chogrin) were interviewed and featured in the video as well. "

just a sweet video about the 3G show! the show ended yesterday, but apparently both my goonies and ghosbusters pieces sold! beyond excited about that.  i asked my californian friend mattyo to take some photos of the show for me since i couldn't get out west for the show.. i get an email from him today saying "I took pictures. Ill send them later. 2 of your paintings sold. SETH FUCKING GREEN BOUGHT THE LIBRARY!" he said while he was purchasing a gizmo print, the gallery owners told him that seth green bought my ghostbusters piece on opening night! :)  easily the coolest thing of all time to happen to me artistically. ever. i've been a huge fan of his as far back as i can remember. i was excited enough knowing he would be there to see it, but never imagined him actually buying it. it just seems very surreal.

(mattyo taking pictures of the show! coming sooon)

but i am super excited to sell them and i can't wait to make more.  i have 3 similar pieces on the way for the video game gore show with the autumn society in october!

atari monsterrrr!

the autumn society  participated in an exclusive video game gallery show with GAME-CORE CON. each artist painted on an original atari game cartridge, provided by the game-core con. cartridges were customized/painted by artists and given out as prizes at the show. i don't actually know much of anything about this event, but i painted and donated one for fun.

this is my monster atari! it didn't specify whether cartridge artwork should reflect video games, mine didn't, so i hope not! i hope whoever gets my monster loves him the way i do. i hope they treat him right, the way an atari monster should be treated.

art snob

the movie art school confidential really makes me miss school and art folks. this movie is really (not so much) an exaggeration of what art school (at tcnj, for me) is like (though i feel like being in a more artsy school would have been even worse.) i miss the uncontrollable anger i felt as i'd mock the many "artists" who never failed to impress the professors with their conceptual art garbage. i admit i am what some might refer to as an "art snob." i appreciate and respect artwork that shows obvious hard work and passion, artwork requires and shows actual talent.  i do not however like (in fact, i despise) someone who plugs in a light bulb and calls it art. or fills gigantic rooms full of all-white paintings (literally) and call it's process art. or someone who paints a car that looks like a paint by number done by a five year old (as seen in art school confidential) and call it art.  or when someone spend painfully long hours creating something to be proud of and get the same credit as someone who scribbles for 10 seconds (and gets praised for it.)  and even more, i hate women who sit in the middle of an art museum and stare at someone for hours, get paid way too much money and call it art. i can't handle the fact that so much artwork out there is a success solely based on the artist's ability to bullshit their way to fame. or the fact that there are people who love and admire them for their bull. if these people feel the need to express themselves through these methods that i will never, ever understand, that's fine. i just wish it could in a separate category than "art." i'm desperately trying (really, really hard) not to go too far into my anti-art rant that i've rambled on about so many times before, so go watch art school confidential and you'll understand what brought on my rant, unless you're one of them who give me this undying headache. i just watch it and laugh at how ridiculous it is, until i realize it's really not that far off from the reality i surprisingly miss so much from my four years in college..

this is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to my snobbiness.. but i'm okay with that because i'm sure there are plenty of people who dislike or hate my work.  at least i'm doing it for the right reasons. i know this for a fact because i'm poor and i'm not doing much about it, except painting... all so i can keep on painting :)

exercise after a SCI

FAT COW! this post isn't about being fat, but it is about exercising, and since i feel the need to post artwork,  i felt this painting (2006) is closest i have to relate. it's a cow.

every couple months i look too long in the mirror and over analyze myself, or i see a picture that is either just a horrible pose or horrible angle (or just a horrible reality), and i get remarkably motivated to start exercising. unfortunately exercise is probably my my most hated activity of all time (not really, but it is up there). my morning routine is already so annoyingly long and draining, that to add another hour or so of something i don't even remotely enjoy doing drove me insane.  the last time i had a work out routine going was maybe 8+ months ago with great motivation and enthusiasm, but that unfortunately ended after my trip to california in april, which i hate myself for.

there are two problems, my belly and my arms (and technically my legs, but i'm over that). my belly is my worst problem. as much as i hate the way it looks, my issues are larger than that. it's just a little gut, caused by the effects of gravity and my lack of muscle control. it just kind of sags, as unattractive as that sounds. i've tried in the past to work out my abs, but the fact that i can't actually feel them or know whether or not what i'm doing is working while i'm doing it, i get frustrated and my motivation drains out of me as quickly as it came. i've never seen results in the tummy area.. that may be my fault, or it may be physically impossible. they are actually called "quad guts," at least that's what i've read on the internet. if anyone makes fun of my quad gut or uses the term "quad gut" to my face, i'll punch you really hard. i've seen paraplegics with tight stomachs, but not everyone's injury level is the same and some people have control over areas that others do not (but to make myself feel better about my hatred for exercise and laziness, i'll just say i can't... )  that's the superficial side of it, but that's not my main issue. the bigger problem is the way it makes me feel. for lack of a better word, i just feel gross, physically. i feel unhealthy (though that is probably more of a diet issue..) , and basically i just feel flat out uncomfortable in my body. i don't know how else to explain it. maybe i'll try again one of these days...

the other, more important issue is my arms. everyone tells me how strong i must be, and you would think that'd be the case after pushing myself in a wheelchair for ten years. but when it comes to hills and pushing for long periods of time, i'm useless.  not to mention my arms jiggle more than i'd like (superficial side, sorry). i spent a majority of this past weekend pushing myself around on all types of terrain at the philadelphia zoo and septemberfest in the park, uphill and downhill, and i needed more help than i would have liked from my so very helpful friend amanda. it was a reality check that i need more strength, and less jiggle! same with the stomach, this is something i haven't seen results on in the past, but i at least know for a fact it is possible. i want to try the shake weight, since it's video ad was so appealing.  you know the one i'm talking about, with those naughty gestures. i have some serious self control issues where i don't know how to stop things i shouldn't do (binge-eating..), and i don't know how to stay committed to things i should do (work out..), but maybe this will be it! i just want to feel strong, and healthy for once. if anyone has any tips on how to stay motivated, that would be glorious.

motorcylces for wheelchairs

i just realized i never posted this back from the abilities expo.  a motorcycle for the disabled?!?! it's like the batmobile. i'm absolutely terrified of motorcycles, and i actually despise them.  and although this is obviously very different than typical motorcycle you see, it is so amazingly awesome that this was made.  i just imagine maybe a person who was disabled because of a motorcycle accident, thinking they'd never be able to ride one again, and then they see this for the first time and all their hopes and dreams seem possible again! that is, if they have thousands and thousands of dollars at their disposal..

 technically i have no idea what kind of other devices are out there, or if there are other possibilities for the disabled riding motorcycles, but i don't care because this is just fantastic looking.  a ramp comes down the back and you roll right in (you can even see the backrest and handlebars of a wheelchair inside the bike above)

i wish i was badass (and rich) enough for these crazy contraptions

art exhibits in ESP

on sunday, i experienced one of the coolest atmospheres for art exhibits.  the eastern state penitentiary in philadelphia, pa holds exhibits for a whole bunch of different artists that you come across throughout your tour of the prison.  it is a brilliant idea and whoever came up with this idea is a genius. seeing art installations in prison cells (and relating to the prison) was incredible. here are a few:

down this cell block below, we found susan hagen's installation, "recollection tableaux"

on both sides of the block, there were several wood sculptures displayed inside the tiny cells. hagan planned these sculptures "by studying historic photographs, written descriptions and oral histories by the people who remember this institution"  in hopes to offer "a glimpse of the emotional experiences and mundane routines of daily life within the walls of this prison - and to find a shared humanity with the men and women who resided here."  the fact that she lived outside the penitentiary for about 20 years made me appreciate that she had the opportunity to show her work within these walls.

 next was judith taylor's installation "my glass house"

this was personally my favorite, i'm a huge fan of photograms. i love the idea of them and i love their look, they have so much potential to make something really creative. i regret not focusing on photograms more when i had the chance.  i should have taken advantage when i had access to a darkroom. but judith taylor's in-progress greenhouse takes full advantage! "the photographs in these windows are specimens of the natural habitat (plant life, insects, birds) found within the walls of the eastern state penitentiary."  i really want to see it with the majority of the windows as photograms.

 

 the last installation i photographed was mary dewitt's "pardon me"

this one was pretty cool. i didn't care for the paintings themselves, but their set up was pretty fantastic looking. you can see below, these huge reverse glass paintings were (like susan hagen's sculptures) set up inside the prison cells. "pennsylvania is one of the few states in which all life sentences are issued without chance for parole. it is also one of the few states still relying on a pardon by the governor as the sole means of release for these inmates. these pardons have become rare in recent decades."  ms dewitt says, 'this has led to a log jam of elderly people who would have been released decades ago in most states. since governor rendell is finishing his final term as governor, this is the moment when he is most likely to grant a pardon."  "each painting in this series is accompanied by a recording of the woman's voice. information about each woman, and the pardon process, is available on the artist's website: www.marydewitt.net"

i don't have anything smart or artsy to say about these, i just wanted to share because it was a very unique experience for viewing artwork

wind up tattoo time

this is going to be the newest addition to my tattoo collection! it's going to be a big one, basically a half-sleeve on my right arm... and it's a huge deal to me.  i had planned on getting it in september around my ten-year anniversary. this might sound stupid (especially those who are anti-tattoo...sorry mom and dad), but it would have been very therapeutic to have something to look forward to, especially something so personal and important to me, instead of focusing on my disability and everything i mentioned in yesterday's post. of course, my indecisiveness made me wait far too long to make an appointment for that time, but i was lucky enough to be able to make one for early october. if i hear one more person (mothers...) say how ugly i'm going to look on my wedding day, i'm going to stab them. i happen to love the way tattoos look on both men and women, and i am more than happy to have my own artwork displayed on my body, especially at my own wedding. so now, i get an extra month of excitement and anticipation. coming soon, my new tattoo for the person i am today, for the everything of the last decade! :) woohoo

a decade

this past sunday, september 12, hit the ten-year mark of my life in a wheelchair. that means exactly ten years ago, i spent my morning in an icebox of a room squeezed into an mri, which at the time i don't think i even knew what an mri was, while my arms were burning in excruciating pain and i had already lost the feeling and use of my legs. for those of you who don't know, the cause of my lifestyle was not a skiing or car accident, it wasn't a shark attack, i didn't jump into an empty swimming pool, i didn't go train hopping and miss, and i didn't get shot by a murderous burglar. i don't mind being asked about my disability, but these are some of the stories i tell rude strangers. i don't lie because they ask, i lie because of how they ask. the truth is far less interesting and i am actually bored of telling it. i woke up to possibly the worst pain i've ever experienced in my upper back. my face was white and my hands were shaking. i should have been in my first week of high school, but lucky for me, the teacher's strike prevented that.  the pain went away after lying flat on my back, and i led a normal morning until an hour later it came back and this time my legs gave out. my legs bounced a bit and in an instant everything was gone.  i couldn't lift them, i couldn't move them, and i couldn't feel them.  i was stuck with some iv's and rushed to the hospital, naively thinking i'd be home that night, but instead spent the next 2 1/2 months in that hellhole of a hospital experiencing what i'd now consider some of the worst experiences of my life (although surprisingly there were plenty of good times as well). the reason for all this was an avm on my spinal cord, found in the mri, where i was immediately sent into surgery for removal. technically we don't know the cause of the avm (as far as i know) but it was probably there from birth. 

i'm leaving out a ton of details, it was hard enough to write what i did.  it's a whole different experience writing my story than telling it, because i'm forced to think about it and relive it, and i'm having a tough time dealing with that right now.  telling someone a quick version is thoughtless and emotionless for me because of how many times i've done it. it's amazing how many memories i have from those 2 1/2 months, and even crazier how some are clear as day, some hazy, some are completely forgotten, and others i can't even distinguish whether they even happened or not.

i have been trying to keep busy recently to avoid the fact that i've been paralyzed for an entire decade. i get it is just a number, but ten years is a very long time, so long that it even has it's own name. and i find it strange that i've begun and finished several stages and phases of my life in that time.  i really don't care about the actual day of my "anniversary," and i'm usually fine the day of (except this year because i woke up grumpy to a power outage that erased all my alarms!)  basically, i only get depressed once i realize it's september yet again, and that this is my life, and has been for however long (in this case, a decade); that soon enough i will have spent more than half of my life in a wheelchair; and that eventually (for me, although i'm confident almost everyone i know already feels this way) the fact that i could ever walk will be completely forgotten.  being forced to think about it (my own fault) is what hurts, not the day. so for the past week, i've cleaned out my entire bedroom, resulting in 4-5 garbage bags of clothes and junk to get rid of, worked on artwork (as usual) that i'm unfortunately not at all pleased with, and lots of little things in between, while desperately trying not to focus on negative thoughts.

despite the fact that i didn't want to make a big deal out of it, i spent the "big day" sunday at the eastern state penitentiary in philly followed by yummy cheesesteaks with my sister, and later the greatest cheese fries of all time from some crappy bar. mmmm

mogwai !

i wish i could wake up to the songs of a mogwai every morning. i would be less grumpy. i'm watching gremlins 2, thanks to the nonstop hype of the 3G show i'm seeing everywhere.

time to paint some atari cartridges.. and by some i mean one:

update: i'm pretty sure gremlins 2 might actually kick the first one's ass. gremlins is an obvious classic, but i have apparently completely forgotten how hilarious the sequal is. such quality films.

handcycle in the wild!

by the way, i was driving with tim a week or so ago, i think we were headed to bingo, and we saw someone riding a handcycle! he was following a guy on a regular bike ahead of him, as they crossed the street.  i've only ever seen them at the abilities expo, so seeing one out in the wild was amazing. i almost didn't even believe people rode them in a regular old town. i immediately got angry because of how badly i want one. that should have been me!

(photo not actual wild handcycler)

good days, bad days

i'm not sure how to write negative thoughts without sounding like a whiny little teen.  i know that everyone has bad days and can maturely write and speak about them, but i feel like i personally just sound like a rambling child. today, i could write about how frustrating it is to still be unemployed two+ years after graduation, and how frustrating it is (whether true or not) to even consider my disability has even the slightest bit to do with it (to me that just sounds like something to blame, although i've had plenty of people not want to deal with me because of it, so it's not that far fetched).  i could write about how irritated i get by seeing women with tight bodies prance around while gravity combined with my lack of muscle, and inability to gain muscle pulls down every bit of me (but that would just make me superficial).  i could write about how unnaturally hungry and pissed off i am because my delightful monthly visitor seems to be on its way (despite how many naive people still question whether or not i even still have a monthly cycle. really? i'm still human and female, geniuses). and i could write about how unbelievable and depressing it is that my ten-year "anniversary" of the day i met my faithful disability is only several short days away (even realizing it's only a number and i shouldn't let it get to me even when everything around me seems to be reminding me of it at the moment.) i could write about all those things, as ridiculous and immature as they are, and i could choose to be grumpy...but i choose to make this a happy-day (after much effort) and express my excitement over the 3G show overpowers all my negativity. and how it was an amazing night and event to be a part of, despite not actually being there to experience it.  my art being there was enough for me.  that's all i really want. i don't truly care about anything else mentioned above, just to keep creating and being lucky enough to have somewhere, anywhere to show it.

 please visit the autumn society's post to read about the opening events that took place: http://www.theautumnsociety.com/2010/09/3g-show-premiere-teaser.html

that link better work. tell me if it doesn't! i can't test it because my computer hates me

and! on another happy note, gotfuturama twitted/tweeted(?) my futurama cake! not sure how they found it, but how fun.

futurama cake!

tim's birthday part 2! who loves futurama?! i do!  along with tim's pez, i made him this sweet cake and cupcakes based on his favorite tv show, futurama. i had to include the three main dudes, fry (my personal favorite), bender, and leela.  but instead of finishing with the rest of the main characters, i chose mostly minor characters, including timmy's favorite: scruffy, the janitor. 

i've wanted to decorate a cake using all little stars (like this, you know, the cake molds you see in the stores. ) for a really, really long time. it has always been one of those things since i was little that i've been really drawn to. it's hard to explain, i just love to look at them. they make me feel like a little kid, and i could sit looking through a cake magazine for hours (as long as they're all made from the star method). so i was very excited to finally try it myself, but unfortunately "just doing" something isn't the smartest idea when you have never done it... and i got the wrong kind of icing and it wouldn't hold the shape of anything, including those little stars. instead, thanks to my failures, i just squeezed out some icing to fill the spaces. 

my plan was to made the cake batter fully blue so we could eat blue cupcakes, but i realized after pouring all the batter in the pans that i completely forgot. so instead, as you can see, i made swirlies of blue. which you couldn't even tell once they were all finished.  tim thought the dye from the icing had soaked through to the center of the cupcakes. oh well.   now i know this isn't "art," but i seriously enjoyed decorating these.  i did them all freehand which proved to be a slight challenge, and it took forever to mix every color.  it took about 4 hours total just for decorating, which isn't including time for baking and clean up.  now i want to decorate treats for every holiday, but using the star method of course..